Heather's Blah Blah Blah Blog

Who are you?

Who am I? I am many things. I am an avid reader of novels, manga, and fanfiction, a writer, a knowledge-seeker, a creative and imaginative individual, a good person (or at least I like to think so), and much more. I want to do much with my life. I see myself in the future being an author, a script writer, a voice actor, a criminal profiler, an archeologist, among other things. (A lifetime is truly not enough time to do all of what we want…)

Regarding to the video which states that we are what we own, I completely disagree. The question is ridiculous in itself. If I were what I own, I would be a walking and talking laptop, or manga/comic, or novel. See what I mean? The very notion is silly. While some people are controlled by their objects or they seemingly worship them, it is their personal choice and not everyone is like that. Having nice things is simply a luxury and should not be considered a bad thing, like how it is portrayed by some people and this video.

What do you want?

(If you will, I must let loose my inner fangirl for a moment… OMG!!! I LOVE V’s voice!!!! 8D)

I adore this film and particularly this scene. It opens everyone’s eyes and has the people in society thinking, “What on earth have we been doing? How could we allow our country and ourselves to become like this?” All of these people (except for the ones who were killed when trying to fight back) became exactly what the totalitarian British government required of them and did whatever they demanded of them, never asking any questions. Not only did the people allow themselves to be oppressed, but they also lost their individuality, something that all people should hold very dear to themselves.
So yes, I agree with what V said wholeheartedly in fact. Everything he stands for is what I myself stand for and personally think others should, as well.

Where are you going?

For university, I hope to go to Butler University, where I can gain knowledge and the skills that will help me in the future. I also love to travel and want to go all over the world. It is hard to say “exactly” where I am going in the future, for I have many interests and can see myself doing many things. It is intimidating to think of exactly where I should go and am fortunate and happy that I do not have to make that decision right away. The only thing that it is dependent on is my happiness. Whatever and wherever I go must make me feel content with myself.

Whom do you serve?

I like to think that I serve myself. I am not a religious person and do not serve some “superior being.” My wish is to make myself and the people I hold dear to me happy.

In the video, Joan obviously does not have “blind faith.” In the beginning, she refuses to serve God-claiming young man. She only want to follow her own inhibitions. Later, she realizes this guy in fact is God and does as he says. I do not remember this series well, but I am pretty sure that through following God’s orders, she helps other people, which, in turn, helps herself become a better person.

Whom do you trust?

I am not the most trusting person. It takes me a very long time to start trusting people, usually at least a couple of years. I had a lot of crappy friends, if you could even call them that, when I was younger who hurt me a lot, so it is not in my nature to have faith in other people. Also, I have studied quite a bit about psychology, especially criminal psychology, which only worsen my ability to trust. It is even difficult to trust myself all of the time. I, like everyone else, make mistakes… frequently. I tend to procrastinate, which I truly cannot stand about myself, but I find it exceedingly difficult to try and change that about myself. But to answer the question: whom do I trust? I do not fully trust in anyone, but I tell nearly everything to my mother and a few of my very close friends. Other than that, not very many people.

Play dough is a material that can be formed and molded into many different shapes. When you start at Brebeuf, you are just a lump of clay. But through the educational process you are formed from a mass of clay to your individual design. You become your own person. Through the process, there are times you feel that you are being squeezed and pulled out of shape, but people come along (like teachers, friends, family, strangers, etc.) and help re-form you into your shape. This is how play dough is related to the Road stage of the Hero Journey.

My play dough applicable high school life has been a rather… interesting one, to say the least. Some people may recall that I had foot surgery last year. My play dough toes were cut, broken, re-set, stitched, and bandaged. What was supposed to be a 2 week healing process took me over 3 months, and even then I still did not feel like myself. It affected my softmore academic second semester, lowering my grades and overall GPA. I have found that the junior year has also been incredibly challenging. The academics have been difficult and the added stress of the university search has been overwhelming at times. Throw in the social aspect where I want to spend more time with my friends makes for a difficult year at best. Plus, I feel that my creative energy is being stifled and gagged. I never have time to do what I truly love to do, which is to write. It has been bringing me down and I have felt rather depressed as of late, as if I am not a whole anymore. It may sound silly that not being able to write as much as I want and release this energy of mine is making me feel this way, but it is. It is perhaps what I love to do most and when that is taken away from me, it leaves me feeling empty inside. But I know these years are molding me and that through these hardships and challenging times that I will come out a better constructed, well-grounded piece of play dough.

As of late, some of my friends have been talking about the game Sims 3. Listening to them has made me overtime feel an urge to play it, for I have only played the original when it first came out and the newer ones sounded very different and much cooler. My birthday is coming up very soon (March 8th to be exact) so I asked my dad after school on Thursday if I could have the game as an early gift. He bought it, but it ended up that, for some peculiar reason, the instruction manual was not in the box, which means I could not play it since the manual has the activation key. The next day my dad called Gamestop and they gave us the code. After a while of downloading, I was finally able to start playing. I spent all of Friday night figuring out how to play the game, getting the cheats (because without the cheats Sims isn’t any fun ;P), and making my characters. I have been playing Sims 3 now almost the entire weekend nonstop, excluding sleeping, going to the bathroom, eating, etc. It was not until today that I took a substantial break so I could complete my homework (although, I find myself switching over to Sims 3 after I finish each assignment and I play for a few minutes haha xD).

Sims 3 is so addicting! I can hardly stop. Trying to make your sims reach their dreams, get all of the skills, have the perfect house, make friends with people, etc. is so time consuming (not that I am complaining ;D). I doubt I will remain this obsessed with the game for a long time, but I must say that Sims 3 is very entertaining. The effects are much better than the original. To be honest, I do not think I can even compare it to the original because they are so different. There is a lot more you can do and it is much more fun than the first.

I just wanted to say that I love Sims 3 and wanted to write how I felt about it. It keeps growing on me and I keep learning new things as I go along, so it is loads of fun! Well, now that I am done talking about it… it’s time for more (before I dive into math homework)! xD Lol!

I will admit, when Twilight first came out I got into it. I liked it. But when everyone (well, girls) started getting into it and the majority of girls started to fangirl over it, I then realized that it really wasn’t all that great. Plus, Edward was a creep and a stalker (yes, I liked Jacob… shoot me.) It seems like for the past few years now, most of the vampire stuff coming out is EXTREMELY romanticized and fangirls actually find the whole biting thing and drinking blood actually sexy. What the heck? That is just gross! What could possibly be sexy about having your throat ravaged and torn into, all of your blood drained, and dying, your bloodless corpse in a pile in a dark corner or alleyway? Either that or turning into a monster, yes a monster, who feels an burning in their throat and has to kill people and drink their blood in order to survive? Oh yeah… it’s not. Doesn’t anyone see what is wrong with that? None of this is sexy or attractive, at least it shouldn’t be. Vampires are not sexy, god-like beings who bring salvation by giving us immortality (okay, they CAN be sexy or good-looking, but them being a vampire isn’t what should make them sexy…). They are evil, dark monsters who kill and feed off of the life energy of humans. Do your research. I have. Most people do not know what the original European vampire was supposed to be like, or choose to ignore it (and I choose European because it is the most popularly used, even though there are a ton of different vampire myths from all over the world.) I grew up watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Angel… full of real (well, not “real”, but… you know what I mean >.<) vampires who are scary as hell and evil, soulless bastards (except for Angel, but he had a soul... look it up, it will take too long to explain.)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer has to be one of my favorite T.V. shows ever. It was very well done and written, the characters were fun (or scary) and very developed (unlike most), it was dark and also incredibly witty, and it never grew old. Probably my favorite character on the show was Spike.



He started off as one of the main villains, first appearing in season two. He had killed two slayers before and was looking to kill a third, Buffy Summers, just for kicks. He is badass, a total smartass, hilarious, evil, sadistic, and awesome. He is one HELL of a vampire (lol.) Later, he became more of an anti-hero and even sided with Buffy, but refusing to become part of the “Scooby gang.” He did help them out though, that is, for cash. Ever later, he actually fell for Buffy and become obsessed with her. To read about his backstory (which is way more interesting than any Twilight vampire):
http://buffy.wikia.com/wiki/Spike

After my rant about vampires, now it is time for the fun. =D SPIKE PICTURES, COMIC STRIPS, & MAKING FUN OF TWILIGHT!!! WOOHOO!!! ;P

And now for funny/awesome Spike videos. Double WOOHOO! ;P

Spike, when he is bad
(Just ignore the annoying, stupid thing in the middle of the screen… err)

Funny Spike Moments
To explain the first few parts, Buffy and Spike were under a spell, accidentally casted by Willow. Everything she said would come true, and she angrily said, “Well… why don’t Spike and Buffy just get married!” So… they were. Lol! Also, these are not all funny. Spike actually later becomes a pretty good guy. While he is still kind of an asshole and smartass at times, he is honorable and loyal. =)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwTHofeFv60&feature=related

watch?v=UaMFRxzygZU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yB0ka7UnM4&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0tNqwNpGGQ&feature=related
(^MUST WATCH!!! This has to be the funniest video of Spike ever xD)

A friend of mine online created a playlist of music on her proboard that we, along with others, chatplay on and she asked me to listen to the first song, “I Can’t Decide” by the Scissor Sisters last night. So I did… and I was blown away. I loved it instantly, finding it quirky, weird, incredibly catchy, and, just overall, very clever. I have listened to it several times last night and today, and cannot seem to stop listening to it. Whenever I hear something else, I have to leave or stop listening to it and go back to this song. I have been finding it difficult to get my mind off of I Can’t Decide for I have been trying to decipher it, which has been rather fun and amusing. =) All weekend I have been struggling on what to write for this blog since I am not inspired to write about my break, so I decided to write about it. =D

Here is the song (and actually a pretty good video that someone made of it starring the Joker xD):
watch?v=sek8C5tB9JQ
(It is frighteningly rather befitting of the Joker. Lol! xP)

And the lyrics… (beware, there are a couple of curse words, but it is not too bad):

“I Can’t Decide”

It’s not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don’t four-letter
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time
Smells-like something I’ve forgotten
Curled up died and now it’s rotten

I’m not a gangster tonight
Don’t want to be a bad guy
I’m just a loner baby
And now you’ve gotten in my way

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

It’s a bitch convincing people to like you
If I stop now call me a quitter
If lies were cats you’d be a litter
Pleasing everyone isn’t like you
Dancing jigs until I’m crippled
Slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled

I’ve got to hand it to you
You’ve played by all the same rules
It takes the truth to fool me (maybe told what feels or said opinion)
And now you’ve made me angry

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

Oh I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
I wont deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone (maybe miss, but not sincere… not love)
Oh I could bury you alive
But you might crawl out with a knife
And kill me when I’m sleeping
That’s why

I can’t decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven
Please don’t hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It’s cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We’re going for a ride

Now it is time for my interpretation…

Personally, overall I believe this song is about someone who is a sociopath/psychopath who is trying to decide whether or not he should kill the person who he is singing to. I believe he is a psychopath because of several of the lines like, “Don’t want to be a bad guy/ I’m just a loner baby…” (sociopaths do not choose to be sociopaths. They just are. They are also antisocial, explaining the loner part…), “It’s a bitch convincing people to like you” (sociopaths/psychopaths do not naturally fit in, or at least most of them. They are, again, normally antisocial and do not like being around people, preferring to be by themselves. Now some can be around people and act “normal,” but it is all an act. So it makes sense why he claims it is a bitch trying to have people like him. He has to work at it and pretend he fits in.), and, well, the whole chorus honestly (lol). I mean, he is contemplating whether or not he should kill this person and says he is cold inside, feeling nothing. Many criminologists and profilers claim psychopaths are incapable of real love…

Alright, now to start from the beginning with the very first line, “It’s not easy having yourself a good time,” I feel that is pretty straightforward. He is saying that it is difficult for him to have a good, fun time. Nothing too special there. Honestly, I have no idea what the two lines about the bets and betters and the four-letter are about so I cannot comment on those. I have been trying to figure it out for a while now and can come up with nothing. “Fuck and kiss you both at the same time” makes me think that the person he is contemplating killing is some sort of lover (does not mean he loves him/her though) or someone he has just had relations with. He doesn’t go much further than that which also further convinces me that he does not truly care or love this person, telling me is a psychopath. This could also mean that the person lives with him… “Smells-like something I’ve forgotten/ Curled up died and now it’s rotten” Now this could be him talking about things that he has killed/tortured and forgotten about, but he can now smell it since it is decaying (under his house maybe? O.o), or something to that extent. Or this could be him talking about the sex. I have read sometimes in books and seen in shows and whatnot where a character who does not enjoy the sex and describes it as smelling foul… I highly doubt the second one, but I felt like throwing it out there. I am more convinced it is the first one.

“I’m not a gangster tonight/ Don’t want to be a bad guy/ I’m just a loner baby/ And now you’ve gotten in my way” So I think here the guy is saying how he is not a criminal tonight and did not intend on hurting anything (at least for just that night.) He claims he does not want to be the bad guy, so he does not choose to be the way he is, but he just is. He does not do them to be a “bad guy,” nor does he want to be. Instead of seeing himself as a bad guy, he sees himself as simply a loner (which, again, works with my sociopath/psychopath idea.) With the last part of the third line (baby) and the last line, this makes me think that perhaps this “lover” or whatever to him has found out what he is or what he has done and has “gotten in his way.” Either that or perhaps he did not plan on killing or hurting anyone that night, but this person caught him off guard and now he wants to kill him/her, feeling an urge to perhaps.

“I can’t decide/ Whether you should live or die/ Oh, you’ll probably go to heaven/ Please don’t hang your head and cry/ No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside/ It’s cold and hard and petrified/ Lock the doors and close the blinds/ We’re going for a ride” Well, for the most part I find the chorus to be pretty straightforward. The guy is contemplating whether or not he should kill this person, he is not sure whether or not he should. He tells the person that he/she will probably go to heaven, implying they are most likely a good person, so they should stop crying. Sociopaths/psychopaths do not feel emotions, or at least very many, and are not touchy-feely sort of people. Crying would make most of them probably uncomfortable or they just would not care. He is telling him/her that he/she should not worry if he kills them because they will not go to Hell. The singer says his heart is dead, cold, hard, and petrified… all descriptions of him being a sociopath/psychopath, or a killer. He is emotionless. This also tells me he does not truly love or care about the person because he is saying his heart is basically stone. At first when he talks about locking the doors, closing the blinds, and going for a ride, I was confused. I was taking the “going for a ride” literally and I was wondering why he would mention the door and blinds if they were going in a car ride. It then hit me that he was talking about locking the door so no one can get in or out, closing the blinds so that no one would see them or he/she could get help, and “going for a ride” which I think is him killing the person.

“It’s a bitch convincing people to like you/ If I stop now call me a quitter” The singer is saying it is difficult for him to get people to like him. He has to work at it. This once again confirms for me that he is a sociopath/psychopath and this just explains his behavior. He then says while it is annoying and he has to work at it, he will not stop and continue to work at it. I am not entirely sure about the line “If lies were cats you’d be a litter.” It may mean that he has lied to this person a lot, which is the litter of lie, or that perhaps this person has lied to him a lot. Again, I am not positive which one… “Pleasing everyone isn’t like you” makes me think that this person is just not a person who usually likes to please people. If I put this song in the context of a story, perhaps the person is trying to please the singer, not wanting to die, so he is saying that that behavior is not like him/her. I am also not entirely sure about the lines “Dancing jigs until I’m crippled/ Slug ten drinks I won’t get pickled.” In my opinion, it might mean he has tried to get himself to feel, but nothing has seemed to work.

“I’ve got to hand it to you/ You’ve played by all the same rules” I said there are a few lines which confused me, and these are two of them. I am not sure whether this means that the person actually did kill or do things with him since he said “played by all the same rules,” but I am not sure or positive on that. Maybe this just means the rules of life. Again, I am not positive on either one of those. “It takes the truth to fool me/ And now you’ve made me angry” Perhaps the person told him hold they felt about him or the situation. He is so used to lie that he is surprised and maybe even a little fooled or caught of guard by the truth. Either that or the person lied and knows he/she lied because only the truth can fool him. Either way, this makes him angry, to which it goes back to chorus where he is wondering if he should kill the person.

“Oh I could throw you in the lake/ Or feed you poisoned birthday cake” Well, so the guy is basically pondering on the different ways he could kill him/her. He then thinks about how he will miss the person after he kills him/her with “I wont deny I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone.” Now, if he truly care/loved this person, he would not be contemplating killing him/her. While he says he will miss the person, it is not sincere because he says “when you are gone,” which implies he will probably kill him/her. What also does not make it sincere is that right after he briefly thinks that he’ll miss the person after he murders them, he goes back to another way of killing him/her with “Oh I could bury you alive.” The singer is a little worried about killing the person, which is evident in “But you might crawl out with a knife/ And kill me when I’m sleeping/ That’s why.” He is wondering if he tries to bury the person alive, if they will not die, and come after him for revenge and kill him while he is sleeping. Either that or he is afraid of the consequences of killing her, like perhaps jail or getting caught. Because he is worried that is why he is wondering whether they should live or die (going back to the chorus after that.)

Tah dah! And that is how I interpret I Can’t Decide by the Scissor Sisters. =D

I am curious… does anyone else have any other ideas of what it could be about, or any different interpretations? Perhaps also, if you agree with the him really wondering if he should kill the person, than do you think he killed him/her? I am leaning towards he did, but what do you think? I would love to hear your thoughts. =D

Amazing Open Theme:

Tonight… I mean, this morning (yeah I’ve been up all night and it’s going on 10 am… *sigh*) I have decided to write about an incredible kick*** show called Black Lagoon.

Here is the basic plot copied from wikipedia (thank wiki, I appreciate it. ;3):
The story follows a team of pirates/mercenaries known as Lagoon Company, that smuggles goods in and around the seas of Southeast Asia in the early 1990s. Their base of operations is located in the fictional city of Roanapur in Thailand, and they transport goods in the 80-foot Elco-type PT boat Black Lagoon. When on land, they move around and conduct business using Benny’s 1968 Plymouth Road Runner, although in episode 24 he’s seen driving a 1965 Pontiac GTO after his Roadrunner is blown up in episode 17. Lagoon Company does business with various clients, but has a particularly friendly relationship with the Russian crime syndicate Hotel Moscow. The team takes on a variety of missions—which may involve violent firefights, hand-to-hand combat, and nautical battles—in various Southeast Asian locations and when not doing much, the members of the Lagoon Company spend much of their down time at The Yellow Flag, a bar in Roanapur which is often destroyed in firefights.

So, yes, there is a TON of fighting. It is so much fun! xD Anyway, to go more into the plot, it starts of with the main character, Rokuro Okajima, nicknamed Rock. He is a Japanese salaryman and translator for a Japanese industry. He is a pretty average, overall nice guy with an absolute clean record. The company sent him with a disk of information to bring to someone (I believe a client or buyer of theirs, but I cannot remember for sure… they didn’t give a lot of info on it), but the ship he was on was intercepted by a band of modern-day pirates (yeah, not the one with swords that go “Yar!” but the one’s with guns who drop f-bombs everywhere… >.>”). They kidnap him because of the disc he has and they planned on using it and him as negotiation to get a nice amount of cash from the company. Well, unfortunately for poor Rokuro, the company basically screws him over by pretty much stating that he was dead and abandoning him in an attempt to cover up the smuggling operation in which he had been an unwitting participant. This angers Rokuro (because, I mean, hey that would suck big time =/ ) and he joins the very group of pirates who took him in the first place. It is then that he is “re-named” to Rock.

It ends up being that the people he know works for are not simply just a group of pirates, but a shipping company called Lagoon company who just isn’t afraid to break a few rules here and there. Rock is usually responsible for account management, diplomacy, negotiation, interpretation, and the occasional errand. He is also skilled in geology, is a pretty good linguist, is a wonderful speaker, charismatic, and only in his mid-twenties. Although, he has absolutely no skills in fighting, so he is more of one of the intellectuals of the group. He has a very sweet personality, and is very earnest and is kind of like the light or heart of the Lagoon Company, since most of them are shady and have a very dark side to them.
Here are some pictures of him:

(Hmmm… I just realized that most of the pictures are of him bruised up… eh, I guess that’s not big surprise lol)

Then there is Revi… Oh Revi! (*snickers*) Let’s just say she doesn’t have the best manners this world has ever seen (she constantly gets in fights and drops f-bombs and other curses like there is no tomorrow xD). Revy (レヴィ, Revi?) Her real name is Rebecca and she is sometimes referred to it, but most just call her Revi. She does most of the fighting for the Lagoon Company. Revy is a Chinese-American born and raised in Chinatown, Manhattan, near Mott Street, spending most of her youth as a thief and murderer. Revy is very competitive, strong, stubborn, impatient, and extremely ill-tempered. Unlike Rock, she is undiplomatic, believing in the use of brute force and coercion to get her way. She is also a heavy smoker and drinker. Of all the characters in the series, Revy is recognized as the most foul-mouthed by many, if not all of the other characters. She is a merciless and sometimes sadistic killer without a conscience who will kill anyone at the slightest provocation, even unarmed civilians. She has a changing but volatile attitude towards Rock, the newest and most polite crew member of the Black Lagoon; though she respects him later in the series, she is mostly hostile towards him, having nearly murdered him on two occasions and threatening him with death on several others. However, she does have a tendency to save Rock from critical situations, and later on she admits to considering Rock as family. It is implied later in the series that she may be attracted to Rock because whenever a character named Eda hits on him, she always appears jealous and starts yelling at the woman, or just getting pissed off. Her attraction is further suggested when Eda asked her if she had gotten anywhere with Rock. Instead of denying it with a brash comment as usual, she said she would rather not say, which caused Eda to laugh at her hopelessness when it comes to men. Revy is also very protective of Rock, protecting him on many occasions. Revy is one of the deadliest fighters in the series, whose skill with firearms and ability to dodge bullets is almost superhuman and unparalleled. There are only a few other characters that can hold their ground against her in combat. Her weapons of choice are a pair of modified Beretta 92FS’s; which are made out of stainless steel and had their barrels extended from 4.9″ to 5.9″ each (the 5.9″ is the combat MOD barrel) and also adapted for silencers. They are engraved with the words “9mm Sword Cutlass” on both sides, the Jolly Roger of the pirate Calico Jack (which is also inlaid into the ivory grips), and a manufacture inscription in Thai. Due to her ambidextrous marksmanship skills, she is nicknamed “Two Hand” by the denizens of Roanapur. However, Revy has also used a variety of other firearms when needed. Constantly living on the edge of life, Revy has developed a rather bleak, almost nihilistic outlook on life, relying only on her own power, skills, and money. She does not believe in God or emotions. However, she seems to respect and trust her companions. One of her funnier aspects is being quite forgetful, implying that her brash attitude caters to her stupidity. (Mixture of wiki and myself…)
Revi Pics:

You want to know the weird (and scary) thing about Revi? Her voice actress is the woman who did Bubbles’ voice from the Power Puff Girls. BUBBLES!!! Now isn’t that a mind-blower? O.o”
(go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElCPiApxZsk&feature=related & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMXSEClmZfc&feature=related Warning: LOTS of cursing! Very vulgar… >.>”)

The captain of the ship, Dutch. He is the African-American leader of the Lagoon Company and captain of the ex-U.S. Navy PT boat Black Lagoon. He is a former Marine who fought in the Vietnam War. Shortly before the war ended, Dutch went AWOL, escaping to Thailand to work as a mercenary. He tends to stay away from the fighting associated with Lagoon Company’s activities. Instead, he gives orders and negotiates contracts with clients. However, Dutch is very capable in combat, skillfully wielding a Remington 870 Marine Magnum shotgun and a Smith & Wesson 629 revolver. Dutch is a calm, easygoing character, and most of the time, is quite friendly. His body is heavily muscled, and he is always seen wearing a pair of sunglasses, typically dressed in camouflage pants and wearing a flak jacket. He appears to be in his 30s, but is most likely in his 40s, given his apparent military service in Vietnam given the setting of Black Lagoon in the 1990s.
Dutch pics:

Benny (ベニー, Benī?) is a college dropout from a Florida university where he studied until getting into trouble with the FBI and the mafia, and would have ended up dead if Revy had not saved him. He works as the Lagoon Company’s mechanic, computer specialist, and researcher. He also functions as the Lagoon’s driver, and appears to be the owner of the 1969 Dodge Coronet R/T (later replaced with a 1965 Pontiac GTO) that Lagoon Company travels around Roanapur in. He is Jewish, or at least of Jewish descent as he puts it, and is often called “Benny-Boy” by Dutch. Benny joined the Lagoon Company two years before Rock, after Revy rescued him. Benny has an easygoing and non-violent personality. He readily admits to Rock that the two of them are not gunfighters in any way, shape, or form. Unlike Rock, however, Benny is willing to turn a blind eye to Revy and Dutch’s more violent methods. Benny also tends to be possessive of his computers, and will not let anyone else touch them.
Benny Pics:

Alright, so those guys are the crew of the Black Lagoon and the main characters of the show. There are numerous other people, but just far too many to post. It would take forever. >.>” Oh, but I do have one last set of characters…
(Do not read if you on watching the series, for there are a TON of spoilers down there…)
“Hansel & Gretel,” or the “Vampire Twins.”

Adorable right? Well, I’d be extremely careful around this set of kids, unless you want to be axed or shot by an automatic weapon. While these kids are cute and completely insane, they have an absolutely tragic past (which explain WHY they are so messed up…)
Hänsel and Gretel are two unnamed Romanian twin orphans. They were abandoned in a state-run orphanage due to their parents’ inability to afford keeping them. As a result of being repeatedly forced to participate in paedophilic snuff films in which they are either raped or forced to murder other children, and being repeatedly forced to watch the people running the orphanage beat some of the children to death in front of them, the twins eventually became deranged, sadistic killers just to survive. The horrid engrossment with their torturing and murdering for pleasure is shown during the first part of Season 2 when the twins first arrive to Roanupor as they purposely wound one of Balalaika’s men during a gunfight, bring him back to their temporary stay with Verrocchio’s headquarters, and proceed to probe his body with sharp objects as a medical experiment, and then drain his body of blood and organs for them to bathe in. (.>”) Afterwards they kill Verrocchio and his men out of indulgence, even though they were suppose to help them escape the city. Unknown to most people, “Hänsel” and “Gretel” are actually two personalities alternately adopted by the two children, both of whom suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, meaning they swap being “Hänsel” and “Gretel” with each other from time to time (it is likely that these were their screen names in the films). There are slight implications that they could be incestuous, possibly due to the abuse they suffered in the state-run orphanage. (.<") It is never made clear of what gender the twins are... In combat, "Hänsel" wields a sharp, wicked-looking battle axe while "Gretel" uses a M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle that appears to be taller than 'she' is. Both also carry additional sidearms. While they were mentally deranged, Hänsel and Gretel were also cunning, having used two other children as decoys to distract the bounty hunters and using money to distract Eda. They were also not above using their innocent appearance to deceive their enemies. They were being hunted down for killing so many people in the city and split up. Gretel eventually boards the Black Lagoon of her own volition, offering them loads of cash. Due to Rock's kindness she takes a genuine liking to him and says to him that he is the nicest person she has ever met, unlike everyone else, and did not realize there could be such kindness in the world. (Yes, it was a rather sweet, adorable moment, until 'she' had to show her genitalia in what she thought was a show of gratitude for his kindness and offered to make him 'happy' and 'thank' him (probably due to the severe sexual abuse from years prior), with which he stormed out of the room furious and sick to his stomach. "Gretel" (formerly "Hänsel" before swapping) shows 'her' genitalia to Rock in what she presumably came to believe was a show of gratitude (since she was sexually abused years prior.) He was angry that both "Hansel" and "Gretal" had been betrayed since birth, that they were deprived of their humanity, and should have had a better chance at life than to become monstrocities, since they have known nothing but 'blood and darkness' their whole lives. The characters' names are taken from the German fairy tale, Hänsel and Gretel. Many of the series' characters compare them to a similar pair of disturbed, sadistic twins from the American film The Shining.

Doesn't this SO remind you of The Shining? I mean, come one! The hall and the creepy twins and everything! =O

D'awww... They are so cute! Why do they have to be insane killers? Dx

EWWW!!! *shiver shiver* Implied incestuous relationship! ToT

Aww... look how cute they are? =D With their killing weapons & clothes stained in blood... *backs up & sprints away, screaming*

Why are they one or my favorite characters from the story? There was something about these twins that I was drawn to. Probably because 1) they are so freaking cute, 2) they are really bad*** for being just kids, and 3) mainly because I pitied them and found them so intriguing. What was so wonderful about them is that their psyche and behavior is pretty realistic, considering their past. These characters also trouble me because of their past. What makes them all the more tragic is knowing that stuff like that happens. Sick people out there take kids, molest and abuse them, make disgusting, pedo videos of them, and snuff films really DO exist, and people get off on that stuff. I have a very big issue with that (like most people…) and it pained me to see it pointed out in this story. I believe that Black Lagoon was demonstrating and pointing out on how very sick and twisted those things are and how it forever changes the victims, changing their very being and can twist them into something horrible. It was a very heartbreaking part of Black Lagoon, and honestly it is one of the reasons why I think I love it so much. The characters are so wonderfully made and realistic. I highly recommend it! It is very good!

I believe that most people feel as if they are called to do something greater than either what they are currently doing or themselves. If they do not feel it now, they may feel it in later years when they are reflecting on their life. So I suppose yes, I do feel like I am being called to do something. Whether it is “great” or not, I do not know, nor do I even know what this “thing” is. I have many interests and I am open to many different career choices at the moment. I have no idea what I should do with my life right now, and I bet most people my age share the same sentiments.

For several years now, I have had a dream of being a fiction writer. I constantly come up with ideas and very few things make me happier or even just as content than when I write. Also, the idea that something I could write would entertain, inspire, invigorate, etc. someone else makes me feel excited and creates an urge within me to write the best that I possibly can. I write whenever I have spare time, which is not very much thanks to school. I have posted a few things online and I have gotten very good responses, which makes me feel even more confident in my writing abilities. At the moment, I plan on getting a creative writing degree, but, of course, that could always change…

A couple of years ago, I became interested in criminology, more specifically criminal profiling. Going inside of a victim’s and criminal’s mind intrigues me, and the way sociopaths, psychopaths, sadists, killers, etc. think and how their minds work interests me greatly. Psychology is absolutely fascinating and I have wondered if perhaps I should become an criminal profiler when I am older. Unlike with my other dream where I would entertain people, I would be helping the public by going to crime scenes and figuring out what kind of person would have done the crime, or psychoanalyzing. Now, I wouldn’t be helping people directly, for profilers do not “catch the bad guys,” but instead they come up with profiles of the criminal and give them to the police, investigators, FBI, etc. and basically say, “Here you go. This is the guy you are looking for. The rest is up to you. Good luck.” It is all about using your brain and basically solving a complex puzzle with the clues you have obtained from the crime scene and/or the autopsy report (or if the victim is not dead, then what they said about the crime.) They also sometimes talk with the victim(s) or their families and help them through their grief. While I realize it would be hard to talk to them about the ordeal they had gone through, the idea that I would be helping them even just a little bit I think would make me feel somewhat happy. Another thing profilers do is that they are sometimes called to talk in front of the general public and warn them about the criminal(s) on the loose and tell them what they should look for, like his/her behavior, habits, etc. Along with talking to the general public, they are sometimes asked to give their reports or advice/opinion in court. They can also interrogate and talk to criminals one-on-one and figure out how their minds work and/or why they did what they did. All of this sounds so fulfilling to me and lately I have been wondering if this is possibly my “call.” I have been wondering if I should go into psychology in university, and I plan to possibly find out or at least get a better idea after taking Intro to Psych next year.

Going back to entertainment, I have a deep love to sing. I have been in choir for three years now and have been taking voice lessons since the beginning of summer and I absolutely love it. I have personally noticed a huge improvement with my voice, and so have others who have personally talked to me after concerts and have congratulated me. I have always had a passion for music, but never really had the time to pursue it because of school. I wonder if I could become really good if I could have much of my time just dedicated to it. I am thinking about someday in the future learning how to either play the cello or the piano, and I will certainly continue my voice lessons and learn music theory.

There are of course other things I am interested in, for these are just a few. I have no idea what I should do, but I plan on figuring it out over time. I know that I will find out the answer somehow or another, so I will just wait until that revelation comes.

I am going to write about my absolute favorite series called Black Butler, or Kuroshitsuji.

I discovered the anime about a year ago and fell in love with it. Instead of studying for finals all week/weekend, I watched this show during my free time. It was awesome and when I finished it I just was not satisfied. I had to have more! I eventually found the manga and pretty quickly caught up to it. The art is fantastic and absolutely stunning. There is so much detail! What I love about the series is that it never grows boring. It always stays interesting and all of the characters and story arcs are very well developed.

The basic plot of Black Butler is that there is this amazing butler named Sebastian who works for this twelve year old kid, Ciel Phantomhive, who is the head of the estate and the president of a massive corporation called Phuntom. It takes place during the late 1800′s in England under Queen Victoria’s reign. Everything the butler Sebastian does is perfect. He is seemingly flawless. He prepares every meal without a single mistake. They look perfect and always taste delicious. Well, that is if the “chef” Bard, or Baldroy, doesn’t destroy the kitchen and catch everything on fire with his flamethrower! Sebastian makes the Phantomhive manor always look absolutely stunning with not a single speck of dust or a mess anywhere to be found. Well, only when the clumsy ‘maid’ Mey-rin doesn’t stumble through and break everything, or mess up the laundry so badly that the entire laundry room is literally FILLED with bubbles and water! The Phantomhive garden is beautiful and breathtaking, full of the most gorgeous flowers that always seem to be blooming. Well, only when the oblivious ‘gardener’ Finny, or Finnian, does not accidentally spill pesticide all over the gardens, killing everything, or cuts up all of the flowers because he wanted to decorate the manor! The only servant who doesn’t bother Sebastian or screw anything up is the previous butler and current house steward, the old man Tanaka. And the only reason that is the case is because Tanaka sits around all day drinking tea! As you can see, every day Sebastian has to deal with incompetent servants. Even his master causes him trouble. Ciel, while he pretends to be an adult and is extremely mature for his age, is still a child and constantly orders Sebastian to make him sweets and has him do seemingly impossible tasks with short notice just to see if he can, which he always does. Idiotic servants, a mercurial master… Even though Sebastian has to deal with them everyday, he still in the end makes everything perfect just in time. With every order Ciel gives Sebastian, he goes above and beyond, even if it seems impossible. The guy is literally perfect… well, except for the fact that he is a demon, slightly sadistic, and will eventually devour Ciel’s, his master’s, soul.

Two years before the current storyline, Ciel lived in the manor with his parents. His father was a kind and powerful Earl, working for the queen as a “dog” (he investigated matters that happened in the underground and stuff like that). One night, the manor was burned down by a mysterious group of people (they still have not be revealed) and the parents were murdered. Ciel was kidnapped and made into a slave and sacrifice for a cult ritual. They tortured him and it is implied they did many horrible things to him (he sleeps with a gun and is paranoid whenever anyone tries to touch him, sometimes even lashing out at them. Only Sebastian can touch him without Ciel freaking out…) Right before he was about to be killed and was being tortured, Ciel’s hatred for the people summoned the demon. The demon asked Ciel if he wanted to save him, in which he answered yes. The demon told him they would have to form a Faustian contract and he would have to serve the boy until he got what he wanted (which was to get revenge from the people who killed his mother and father and who humiliated and tortured him), but the catch was that then he could devour Ciel’s soul. Knowing this, the boy ordered him to kill the room full of people, which immediately created their contract. The Faustian sign is on Ciel’s right eye and the demon’s left hand. This sign makes it so that the demon knows where Ciel is at all times and can serve it; it symbolizes their contract. After this, Ciel gave the demon his temporary name while he served him, Sebastian Michaelis. Interestingly enough, Ciel actually asked Sebastian to take on a similar appearance to his father, Vincent Phantomhive (which may be one reason why he does not mind Sebastian holding him and such…). From there, Ciel returned with now Sebastian to the manor, had it rebuilt, gathered up some servants (the reason why they are crappy servants is because they are actually more like protectors and really good fighters), took on the title of Earl, and rose his name and newly formed company to fame. He gained a massive amount of power in a matter of two years. Pretty impressive for a kid, huh?

To hide his contract sign on his eyes, Ciel always wears an eye patch or something to cover his eye at all times except for when he is in bed. Sebastian almost always wears gloves to cover his contract as well. The only times you ever see it is when he deliberately takes off his gloves, which is very rare.

There have been several interesting and well-developed story arcs, some including Jack the Ripper, the circus arc, and a murder mystery (this is the most recent one. It plays off of Sherlock Holmes and it is implied one of the characters is the writer of the Holmes book =D). There are more and they are all wonderful. It hasn’t been around for all that long, only two years, but it is already extremely popular and it just keeps getting more popular as time goes by. I really do recommend this series for EVERYONE. It is one of the best series in general (anime, manga, comic, television shows, movies, you name it) I have EVER laid my eyes on. The more I read it, the more I fall in love with it. Even if you don’t read manga, I still recommend it because it is like no other. It has a wonderful story, some of the best developed character I have ever seen, and the art is truly breathtaking. I cannot sing enough praise for this series. Black Butler has a little something for everyone, honest! I have read a lot of stuff about it online and have talked to numerous people, and I have never heard a person say they did not like the series (the anime maybe, but not the manga).

Read it. You won’t regret it.

…
…
…
…
http://media.photobucket.com/image/kuroshitsuji%20chapter%2014/Jill_Archer/kuroshitsuji_chapter_14
(^The cake is a lie! Fufufu! xD)

I’ve actually written a fan-fiction for this series and posted it online. It is pretty popular even though I haven’t written a whole lot, only two chapter and a sneakpeak of the coming one. It is called The Black Butler’s Assistant by slykittymeowmeow on fanfiction.net.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5593869/1/The_Black_Butlers_Assistant
Plot: Ciel hires a pretty new servant named Emilie Wright. At first Sebastian thinks he just has another inadequate servant to take care of, but quickly finds that she can do everything nearly as well as he can. SebxOC. Please R&R! Rated T just in case.
It is a romance/comedy story. It is pretty funny and I love writing it. Those two make me super happy. =3 I plan on rewriting the first two chapter since my writing style has changed and improved since then. I just have to find time… *sighs*

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, or “When the Cicadas Cry,” is a psychological thriller, horror, and mystery story. It was originally a novel and manga series, but swiftly after that it was made into a murder mystery game that required little interaction since most of the game was derived with text dialogues. The player was watching/reading the story more than actually playing it. A few years later they made a movie and anime from it which are pretty popular. Higurashi is one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. It is so well done and some of the scenes are so freaky that it caused shivers to run down my spine and goosebumps to cover my body. It was great! =D

To give you a little summary of the story, Higurashi takes place during June 1983 at a rural village called Hinamizawa, which has a population of only 2,000. It is a seemingly normal and peaceful village to Keiichi Maebara, the main character of the series, who moves to the village. He befriends four girls at his new school, Rena Ryugu, Mion Sonozaki, Rika Furude, and Satoko Houjou. They get along very well and Keiichi joins their after-school club activities, which consist mostly of card and board games (and punishment games for the loser, which is usually him.) Every year there is a festival that takes place called the Watanagashi Festival, a celebration to commemorate and give thanks to the local god, Oyashiro-sama. Before the festival, Keiichi finds out that every year for the past four years, one person in the village has been murdered and another person goes missing on the day of the festival. (Poor) Keiichi becomes drawn into the strange events surrounding the Watanagashi Festival and the god, Oyashiro-sama. Higurashi has several story arcs which tells a different side of the story or it is slightly or completely altered in each season. In each story arc, Keiichi or one of his friends become paranoid, and a crime is committed. Usually, the crime involves the murder of at least one of the friends. While it seems impossible to tell their delusions apart from the mystery of Hinamizawa-same, slowly the truth is revealed.

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni Kai main characters as seen in the anime adaptation (from left to right):
Top row: Mion, Shion, Keiichi, and Rena;
Bottom row: Satoko, Hanyū, and Rika.

In almost every beginning of each arc, everything seems happy and fun, but it slowly turns into a creepy, nail-biter suspense story. People begin dying and disappearing, and the friends become paranoid, scared, or go in denial about what is happening. Sometimes you even learn that one or more of the friends are actually in on the murders and disappearances taking place! Every ending of each arc shocked me and I almost never saw it coming, which is probably one of the reasons I loved it so much. I can usually predict what happens in endings of stories, so when I can’t I get very excited and intrigued. I highly recommend watching this show. If you are easily scared and do not like blood, crazy people, suspense, or psychological horror then you should probably completely avoid Higurashi. Haha! xD

The second season is mainly about the story and characters. It explains everything that happened in the past season, which, again, was mostly about the horror and the gore. It revolves around the girl with blue hair, Rika. She knows about everything that has happened in the ‘past summers of 1983.’ It was briefly mentioned in the first season that she was the reincarnation of Oyashiro-sama, and in this season it explains it further. She has lived through the equivalent of an hundred years worth of these murder-filled summers and after all of this time, she has pretty much given up all hope. Rika begins to believe that she cannot stop any of the murders, that at least some of her friends will be involved in them, that she will murdered, and in the end all of Hinamizawa will die (this happens in all of the arcs, if I forgot to mention that.) In this first arc of this season, her eyes open a little bit and she regains hope when one of her friends begins to remember some of the things that happened in one of the past worlds. In the end, she fails that world and restarts. Because of what happened in the past summer, she begins to fight back fate and eventually all of her friends regains some of their memories of the past worlds. Keiichi proves to Rika that you can change fate and that it cannot control you. About midway through the series, Rika explains everything that had happened in the past summers and everything begins to make sense. She tells her friends this and they are determined to stop fate. I haven’t got any further into the series so I do not know how it concludes.

Apparently, the third season is a whole bunch of side-stories. It is supposed to be mostly comedy and the characters having fun and such. The little parts of it that I have seen are really cute and hilarious. I am very excited to finish this series. I continues to interest and amaze me. =)

I am going to post a few videos of the show so you can get a bit of a taste of Higurashi…

These are some of the best bloody and creepy scenes from Higurashi. *Warning: Blood and violence*

There are about two repeating scenes, but here’s some more. Again, more blood and violence. x3

Don’t worry. There is no blood in this one. It is just a creepy talking scene between Rena, who appears to be possessed, and poor, freaked out Keiichi. xD

All of Higurashi isn’t creepy, gory, and scary as hell. There are actually a lot of cute and funny moments. That’s another reason why this show interests me. It is hard to believe that anything can be so cute and yet so scary at once. O.o”

Since today IS Halloween, I feel that I should post about something very fitting, and I just watched a behind-the-scenes special on A Nightmare On Elm Street movie, so… here I go.

I watched A Nightmare On Elm Street a couple of years ago for the first time, and I was intrigued and terrified all at once. The 1984 film had surprisingly good effects, considering the time period it was made (it honestly has better effects than some films made today -.-”). The two best death scenes are definitely Tina’s (Amanda Wyss) and Glen’s (the EPIC Johnny Depp x3).

It was so freaky how he completely messed with Tina and then kills her in such a brutal way. I mean, I could feel the ravaging off his claws on her skin…. my chest hurt for about 15 minutes after that scene. Lol! I just love how she is dragged up the wall and across the ceiling. It is such an epic death and deserves to be considered one of the best death scenes ever created. =)

I know it sounds sick and wrong, but this is honestly one of the grossest and yet funniest deaths I have EVER seen. There is just so much overkill with the freaking fountain… no, waterfall of blood! xD Johnny Depp’s death was great. Haha! (I have such a twisted sense of humor >.<") It's what helped make him big. x3

I think what makes Freddy so frightening and remember-able is the fact that he psychologically tortured his victims by terrifying and toying with them before they died. He goes into their dreams and kills them in some of the most brutal ways, but while laughing and making fun of them all the while.

Honestly, nothing is scarier than the idea that a killer could violate you in your dreams. Why use the word 'violate,' you may ask instead of just kill? Well, the back story of Freddy Krueger is that he was not only a child murderer, but he also MOLESTED his victims. Knowing that makes him a little more intimidating, huh? I just about freaked out when I found that out. The deaths of the teenagers meant a lot more and I saw for the first time the subtle hints in the film. The reason why they did not make it as obvious and state outright that he was molested his victims was because at the time there were several cases of child molestation at schools and there were huge lawsuits going on, which made the creators more than a little wary about making a movie staring a child murderer/rapist.

This scenes just causes me to shiver. I can’t imagine how I would react if I saw an arm in my bathtub and then if I was freaking grabbed and pulled underwater. Let’s just say it would be… a ‘little’ frightening. ;P

I just… I don’t know. That just freaks me out. A tongue on the phone… so gross! Dx

To wrap up this post on this amazing movie, I am going to put up one of the creepiest scenes from A Nightmare On Elm Street. =3 I hope everyone had a wonderful Halloween! I know I did. xD

Creepy! Creepy! CCCCCRRRREEEEEEEEPPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!! ToT This scene seriously scared the crap out of me. I was so freaked out when I watched it. Tina’s corpse in the body bag was perhaps one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole movie for me. Dx I also hate the sound of his claws against the metal pipes. *shivers* (Anyone else notice how the hall monitor was wearing a green and red sweater… or Freddy’s signature shirt?! x3)